News in Brief: Renault Abruptly Cancels Teen-Focused Ghislaine Van

"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78) 07/31/2020 at 12:39 • Filed to: satire, Taketheoutsideline

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An earlier concept of the Ghislaine, known as Avanteen

F rench carmaker Renault Groupe unexpectedly canceled its upcoming Ghislaine Sports Activity Flex-Van !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , citing issues with its autonomous driving software. For years, the vehicle was hotly anticipated as a way to help reignite the waning teen vehicle market, especially for young women who needed transportation to their jobs or other extracurricular activities. Renault had also hinted that it would lead a possible push back into the US market, where the brand has been absent since the 1980s. CEO Luca de Meo explains in a press release: “While Renault is excited about the Ghislaine helping young women freely travel around their town to earn money, early tests of the semi-autonomous system caused the vehicle to drive to unspecified locations, often against the will of the passengers.” Renault admits that autonomous vehicle technology is still in its early stages across the industry, but that the company is considering an HVAC chloroform-injection system similar to what Tesla has used for years to help its owners get some rest while driving.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Ash78, voting early and often 07/31/2020 at 12:51

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SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > Ash78, voting early and often 07/31/2020 at 12:52

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You, sir, are on a fucking roll this week. And, I salute you for it.

I applaud the audacity.  And, no, it is most definitely NOT too soon.

WasGTIthenGTOthenNOVAnowbacktoGTI > Ash78, voting early and often 07/31/2020 at 12:53

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The real question, is can I fit my large cabinets I ordered from Wayfair in it?

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > Ash78, voting early and often 07/31/2020 at 12:54

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SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > Ash78, voting early and often 07/31/2020 at 12:54

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By the way, they had a HUGE number of celebrity endorsements lined up, anxious  to testify to the pleasures they’d enjoyed thanks to Ghislaine.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > WasGTIthenGTOthenNOVAnowbacktoGTI 07/31/2020 at 12:55

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Jet fuel can’t melt wayfair cabinets

user314 > Ash78, voting early and often 07/31/2020 at 12:55

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My reaction to this article:

WasGTIthenGTOthenNOVAnowbacktoGTI > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 07/31/2020 at 12:56

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pfffft, you belie ve in Jet Fuel????

user314 > WasGTIthenGTOthenNOVAnowbacktoGTI 07/31/2020 at 12:58

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You’d think they’d at least offer delivery...

Ash78, voting early and often > WasGTIthenGTOthenNOVAnowbacktoGTI 07/31/2020 at 12:58

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Only if they come with a certain CEO hiding inside. He’ll help you unload once you arrive at your destination*

*Delivery area limited to non-extradition countries

user314 > Ash78, voting early and often 07/31/2020 at 13:13

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Ash78, voting early and often > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 07/31/2020 at 15:17

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My view is this: as long as you’re not poking fun at the real situation (and especially not the real victims), then having fun with a vague analogy is perfectly ok.

And for 2+ years, that lady’s name has been banging around in my head like “sounds like something Renault would build” :)

Side note, the Filthy Rich documentary on Netflix (re: Epstein) is really good, I’m a few episodes into it.

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > Ash78, voting early and often 07/31/2020 at 15:21

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Agreed. As the evidence supports it, I’m all for savaging this woman’s position of privileged perversions perniciously.

So this is perfect.  Well done.

Sir Halffast > Ash78, voting early and often 07/31/2020 at 15:28

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That’s a weird way of spelling “president.”